It's safe to say that "Swimfan" is incredibly easy to loathe. At the same time, it's almost impossible not to enjoy. One can't even begin to approach the film without a serious case of the giggles. Everything about "Swimfan" is so abhorrently awful, so utterly ridiculous and so incredibly ludicrous, that one just stops taking it seriously halfway through and is able to enjoy it simply for what it is. "Swimfan" is a campy, laughable belly flop of a teenie-bopper drama.
jesse Bradford is Ben Cronin, one of the most popular kids in his high school. It seems like he has it made: a loving girlfriend (Shiri Appleby), a good pal (Clayne Crawford), great grades, and he's a great swimmer with a bright future ahead of him. Of course, no one in any mainstream movie could be this lucky and not have everything be royally screwed up. The new girl, Madison (Erika Christensen), immediately starts coming on to Ben whenever he's not around his beau. This leads to a one night stand in a pool (which they somehow have access to 24/7). Now kids, what have we learned from situations like this? That's right, if the music sounds like it was rejected from a barnyard haunted house and the camerawork is just subdued enough, it means she's an obsessed psychopathic murderess who will stop at nothing to let the relationship last, even if it means destroying Ben's life as he knows it. Tough love, huh? Sheesh.
With a title like "Swimfan", it comes as no surprise that what I witnessed was nothing less than one of the silliest movies I have ever seen. It has been deemed the teenage "Fatal Attraction", although I'm not sure if that refers to the content of the movie or the reaction from millions of moviegoers when they realize just what horrible dreck they've spent their ten bucks on. You do the math.
The material here practically begs for a good ol' slamming. Has there ever been a story less believable? There are many plot elements that one such as myself might find more than slightly amusing (quite unbeknownst to the film itself). Maybe it is Madison's magical disappearing and re-appearing act, popping up out of every possible corner at every possible second. I wish I could be at fifteen thousand at once, ready to pop out and scare the living bejesus out of everyone.
It could even just simply be the acting. The emotions in "Swimfan", when they are present at all, are raw and undeveloped. It's the kind of paint-by-colors overacting that is as horrifying as director John Polson wishes his movie would be. The dynamic duo to blame here are Erika Christensen and Jesse Bradford. Christensen is disappointing after her strong first effort in "Traffic". Here, she gives us but a mood and a yelp, only smudging her makeup just a little when it's called for. Bradford seems like he got the part by winning the Freddie Prinze Jr. look-and-act-alike contest. Oh thank you, Hollywood casting agencies, for giving us just what the public needs: another pretty boy model type who has no business acting other than to give something for teenage girls to drool over.
Another point of note: it's interesting how these days, high-schoolers seem to be getting older and older in the movies; I can't recall the last time I've seen any 18 year old who looks like they've already got their masters degree. That's okay though, since we have bad high school quality acting to make up for the age difference.
John Polson's directorial style is all wrong. Granted, the man does have some potential, even if he doesn't know how to work with actors just yet. But one thing I am getting very tired of very quickly is this fresh-from-film-school, psuedo-Hitchcockian air that makes any director think his film is hot stuff. Polson chose the wrong script to pull that stunt with, for the fact that such skilled (yet derivative) technical prowess is matched with such a lightheaded bimbo of a tale offsets any balance the film may have and is the fundamental factor that makes it as funny as it is.
The most complementary thing I can say about "Swimfan" is that it's headed straight for the midnight movie circuit, where jeers and taunts at the screen may elevate it to cult status. If so, I'd buy a ticket. Why not, it isn't like I didn't have a good time watching the film. It's a bit refreshing, actually, to have a film that one can love to hate so much that it is almost enjoyable. Cynical? Sure, but I do pay to see these movies, remember?
